how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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