i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
