he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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