Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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