WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize