There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize