i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
