i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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