in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Text me some of your sweat
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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