did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
