A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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