I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
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Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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