Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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