I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
