erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
