We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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