It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We don't watch enough power rangers
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
