I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
