idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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