You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
where are my eyebrows?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
