She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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