Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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