We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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