My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
