I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
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We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
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i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize