Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
