I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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