K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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