i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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