Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
