dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
