dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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