So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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