who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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