Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize