32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
