You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
