All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
