Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
