U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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