ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize