i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
