I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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