mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
where does the pee come out of this thing
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
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Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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