I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
