Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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