She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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