just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
