so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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