i just google imaged poop.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
