So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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