I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
