now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
