is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
