Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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