jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
