On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
