He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
