also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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